he broke up with me through texting 3 weeks ago.
it was the third time in 3 weeks.
we were together for 100 days.

i was surprised but i totally saw this happening, just thought it might come later, but i was wrong.

i didn't bet him to stay like i did
didn't initiate to talk through it like i did
didn't attempt to through logics and analysis at him like i did
i decided to let it be.

he said sorry
and we stopped talking for 3 weeks.
guess it was a real break.

but until now, he still hasn't made an arrangement to pick up his stuff, clothings nor other valuables
i'll wait as there's no rush for me.

i texted him last night to ask if we can talk
he said sure. guess he will actually make it happen.

is there anything that worth a discussion?
i don't know.

he probably thinks i want to get back with him.
do i? i don't know. probably not.

do i want to sleep with him?
i wouldn't mind. we were very compatible.

do i want to know what he was/is thinking?
not necessarily. i kinda can't be bothered anymore. i don't want another 3 break-up messages in another 3 weeks time. that's just tiring. if he wants to talk to him, he would have made his move already.

did i enjoy being with him?
yes. and also no. i enjoyed being around him. he made me feel very safe and secured. but last few weeks was exhausted. i was scared to have used wrong words, tones, or any means that might have hurt his feelings without myself even realizing. it wasn't comfortable.

do i want to know how he is doing recently?
hmmm. maybe? i don't have any problems without any information about him. i'm still very happy and content regardless.

do i want a proper closure?
i guess the world already knows i am and he is single. i don't tend to do closure.

so what the fuck was on my head when i texted him "can we talk?"
i do not know!! i wasn't drunk, wasn't emotionally unstable, wasn't horny whatever. i was indeed in a very normal and mild state.

stop judging, yolo. fuck this shit